


When it Mattered Most

by ZeeTheZebra



Category: Rockman Zero | Mega Man Zero, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, I Tried, M/M, One Shot, Stream of Consciousness (maybe?), old fic rewritten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeeTheZebra/pseuds/ZeeTheZebra
Summary: A familiar circumstance with an unfavorable outcome unlocks some memories within Zero.
Relationships: X & Zero, X/Zero (Rockman)
Kudos: 17





	When it Mattered Most

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, the original version of this fic was posted on my DA along with a picture. I revamped it with my improved skills and no first person. If anything this is very stream of consciousness, as I wrote in a way similar to a train of thought.

_Shock._

There was nothing else to say about how Zero felt witnessing X's body shatter against Elpizo's sword. He couldn't believe his eyes. Everything from Elpizo summoning his sword to X’s form shattering happened in slow motion. He couldn’t stop him. All he could do was watch and hope that maybe this was some sick nightmare. The last thing he remembered before being blinded was screaming X’s name.

_Anger._

Actually, anger doesn't cut it. Anger does not to begin to describe all the hatred Zero felt towards Elpizo. He despised Elpizo more than he ever despised anyone else before. Zero saw red. He wanted to rip him apart. He wanted to make him feel the exact same pain he put X through. Even his cyber elf would be unrecognizable when Zero was done with him.

_Emptiness._

Zero saved Elpizo from himself. It wasn’t obvious at first, but Elpizo just wanted to do what's "right" for reploids. But everything Elpizo said went "in one ear and out the other" as humans put it. All that adrenaline (or whatever is akin to it) just disappeared. Zero felt nothing. At least until he saw the remains of X's body.

_???_

Zero was struck with another emotion. A familiar but excruciating feeling. He couldn’t name it at the moment but it was...the most painful thing he ever felt. Memories that were locked away flowed into his mind, coming in flashes. All of them followed the same scenario. X was in danger and unable to fight. Zero jumped in front of whatever was about to kill him. He thinks about two of those times he actually died. The last memory to play was Elpizo killing X.

He couldn’t save him this time.

X is dead.

And it’s his fault.

_~~Guilt~~ _

_S̵̯̻͆̈́́͜e̷̫͈̮͈̅̈́l̵̢̟͕̂̍̕͜͝f̷̯̌͋ ̶͈̈̏̎͊̑L̷͉̔̉̕ơ̷͕̍͊̓͘ą̶͈̦̻͌͂͌t̸̼̟͇͍̅͊͗̌ḩ̷̟̰͖̈́́̊̏i̵̬̹̿̾n̶̲̋͋̉̏g̶̗͇̏_

It went beyond guilt. Zero saved X so many times. All those other times he was in danger, Zero could protect him. X was able to carry on even when Zero couldn’t. But now...he was basically asleep, unconscious. He stood no chance against Elpizo because he couldn't even attempt to fight back. The only time X was truly helpless and Zero failed. Elpizo caught him and forced me to watch his failure. Zero felt like sinking into the floor. He wanted to reset this event. Zero wanted to do what he’s done many times before and take the attack for him.

"Zero!" the cyber-elf of X called.

Zero refused to make eye contact. He couldn't. Not after this.

"Zero, are you okay? ZERO?!" X yelled, growing concerned.

He went over to where Zero was on the floor. 

"Zero! Please say something!"

"I'm...sorry..." Zero managed choke out.

Relief washed over X.

"It's alright Zero. Elpizo was one step ahead with the dark elf. There's no reason to blame yourself."

"NO!" Zero shouted.

"I COULDN'T SAVE YOU! THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE! THE ONE TIME WHEN IT MATTERED MOST, AND I COULDN'T SAVE YOU!"

X was taken aback by Zero’s outburst. He wanted to ask if Zero remembered anything, but remained silent. He already knew the answer anyway.

"Look at me Zero." X said.

Zero refused. X let out an exasperated sigh, and that was when Zero finally sat up to look at him. X slowly put his arms around Zero. It felt warm, safe, but Zero still couldn’t take comfort in X’s embrace. Even after X’s body was destroyed due to Zero’s failure, even after his life in Zero’s world was put on a timer, X chose to use a bit of his finite energy to comfort him.

"I don't blame you. I never did and I never will. Do you understand?"

Zero didn’t answer immediately. He did understand X, there was no question about it. That didn’t mean the pain was gone.

"Yes."

"Good!" X responded while smiling.

"Now let's get you back to Resistance base! You're a bit worse for wear."

"Sure." Zero said.

"I'll just be a moment, go ahead" he said.

Zero radioed for the operator to transfer him back and soon teleported away. X said he never blamed Zero. He knew X never would. And yet, during the few moments Zero saw X smiling at him before he left, one thought still beat him over the head.

_“It should've been me.”_


End file.
